The pressure.

I decide to squeeze out the littlest bit. Just to take the edge off of the pain. In a room full of collegues this is a risky task. When something is that eager to escape, opening the door is ill-advised. Yet I must procede. I very carefully release my grip on the beast.

Ooh. A bit too loud. Due to the pressure, my control was not accurate.

I'm writing with my right hand and typing with my left as if nothing happened. My furrowed brow only hints at the wealth of activity taking place in my mind. The peers in the library will never suspect me.

But wait a minute. The vibration was powerful, yet the sound was discreet. The girls to my left and right could never suspect me. I've been spared by the muffling technology of the chair. The soft leather has craddled my ass in a way like no other.

With caution I may procede.

I let it all go, and I mean I am going for the gold with this one. A broadening smile forms across my face as the backs of my legs are vibrated into numbness. I can feel my ass cheeks slapping together with great force, almost painfully, yet the chair absorbs all. The suddenly empty feeling of my stomach is surprisingly satisfying.

Silence. I smile at the girls and they smile back. I return my hands, which had been braced against the desk throughout the glorious fart, to the arm rests of this marvelous chair. I triumphantly lean back, pleased with what I've gotten away with.

That's when it hits me. The chair is not special at all. Great horror. I have been listening to Darude's Sandstorm via my headphones at an extreamly high volume. No fart was muffled. The smiles I had witnessed were not of kindness or atraction, but of sorrrow and pitty. I look around and all eyes are on me. People smiling, embaressed from witnessing my anus's speech.

I am not the man who flees and leaves the aroma for others to deal with. I must continue with my work and suffering. The situation is tense. One more? Could I possibly do it?

Yes. The hair on my neck stiffens. I embrace the arms of the two neighboring girls. My eyes are shut and wattering. The impact will leave the 2nd level of this library in sheer chaos. One, two, and squeeeeez. Freedome! Ahhh, relief, sound and smell complimenting each other like art. Sweet glory. I have reached the end, and have seen the light.

Im free!

Gess hooz bak

Na na na, back up in this mutha.
Snuk into the neighbors house to use the net.
Brodband.

Alright, I tried rapping but its notmycup of tea. Im not Hot Muffin or Nigga Ass Jew. But I will tell you some great news. my friend, the Jamboree will soon have its own private website. I hired a team of ametures to conjure up a site and they did! True, it suck, but who cares. A learning experience for the amatures. HTML protocal and stuff. PMs, and BDSM, servers. Wormholes and what not.

PLEASE READ

NOTICE: THe Staff IS ENJOYING A WINTER SLUMBER AMONNG THE FESTIVE MOUNTAINS. THE journy will resume after the new year's birth. We travel into a new year. Thank you for the wait.
update: A top movies of the year seen in movie theater list will be up on Jan.3 untill then we will be skying on Balckfoot Mtn.

A Holliday Treat From Google

On the 12th day of Christmas my good Pons gave to me:
8 funny blog posts
7 funny pictures
6 funny stories
5 google videos
etc..

A kid named Jonathan dancing. Jonathan Kevzschik. Went to school with me many years ago. Seemed normal back then, but then he moved to San Fransisco. Lets Party!

A great classic among gamer fans. A true console fan will cream in his pants after witnessing this great fable. Now we shall fight!

I was speaking of the great Madonna song. Now you shall hear it. Apperantly Johnny got a hair cut. I must say, it suits him well. Party! (But gayer this time)

Craziness. Sheer nuts. Snowy Trick!

I wish this man was my father. He would teache me many great skills. Finger Skill!

Pains Me to Do This

Yes, posting this, means that the top 10 movie list is now off the main page and into the December archive. Sad really. Here is a link: See the movies!, See the even greater Movies! I recommend you study the list daily. Sweet glory.

On a gayer note. You ever listen to a song like "Oops I did it again" or any other Pop song and say "Man, Im a calssy fellow, I really should not be enjoying this gay song this much"? As is the case with the Stweart Price remix of Modanna's "Hung Up". Fairly gay. But I support gays, so I guess its all good.

Just joking about the last part. Wink.

Actully the gay's that arn't flamboyent are cool. So if Ponsy can't tell that your gay, then your in the clear. However if you seem a little too outgoing, your charisma is a bit too high, maybe you watch soap operas, or like dancing, then I will approach you with caution.

A minute with Ralphy McNeill

Thats right pushing 34, but the chiks just keep on rolling in. These were some Highschoolers too. 50 points Gryffindor! My neighbor Mark told me about the exclusive party, said "alot of drunk highschool chiks". I came in through the back door, and they only noticed me after I turned the T.V on in the parents' bedroom. It was a special night where they were airing the 90 minute season 3 pilot for Babylon 5. It's the only footage where Zathras appears in the second War of Narn and Centauri. Also was the first show where G'Kar didnt need his Nexus Batton while guarding the Marcus Cole shipping docks. (Although I saw his Batton holster was still on his belt!).

The party went well, I was discovered a few minutes into the show, and actually fooled the girls into thinking I was testing the televsion for reception. (After all, I was still dressed in my StorCase uniform which resembles a TV-repair suit). Was a great evening really, saw the girls' cleavage (30 more points to Gryffindor!) a few times during the commercials. I still gotta thank Mark for telling me about the party.

First Degree by Cray-Z Ass Niggaz

Young Playa: Tic-toc Tic-toc, Tic-toc Tic-toc,

Sound: Gun shot

Nigga Ass Jew: Bang! Nigga, you dead.

Young Playa: Let’s rewind this fuck’n story, back to the day when I smoked my first blunt.
I was 6 years old and already a gangsta.
I had sweet hoe who’s mom was a cunt.
Whenever we’d bang, she’d say “Kids you too young,”
So I took out my gat and her brains went splat.
It was first degree so I pleaded the Fith,
Leaned back in my seat and smoked my chronic, said to the judge “nigga suck my dick”

Nigga Ass Jew: 12 years those niggaz gave him, but he don’t care. Niggaz young but he grow’n pubic hair. Chek it.

Hot Muffin: that’s right niggaz, cell block D. Memphis penitentiary was his new crib.
I say “what up nigga”, and he say “yo”
I was do’n time for the 1rd degree, killed a gay nigga for watch’n me pee.

Nigga Ass Jew: so they both is niggaz in cell block D, two niggaz do’n time for the 1st degree.
So I poped a nigga’s mom cuz he call me "John".
I said “son, that’s Nigga to you, now yo mommas gone”

Hot Muffin: you see he’s a Nigga Ass Jew with big ass gun.
After he shoots he just don't run,
Kills people jus cuz he thinks its funny.
N-A-J reach in yo poket and take all yo money.

Nigga Ass Jew: So true, so true.
So they gave me 9 years and I lit my menorah. Said “niggaz don’t hate” and I spun my dradle.
Pissed on the judge and said “now you is wet,”
So they exntended the sentance and said,
"12 years is what Nigga Ass Jew will get"


Young Playa: that’s right nigga ass foo. Three ol’ nigg ass Gs sit’n in the Memphis pen.
We do as wee pleez cuz we is like royalty.
Niggas bow down and give us head.
One decade later we all broke free and hid from the Fed.
Robed a few banks and they all went dead.
Now I’m young playa and thas my story,
Don't let me fuck and I'll make it real gory.

Stanislav the Critic

A real treat. From the blog "A Look Into Susan's Life":

"...as of yesterday, me and miguel are actually me and miguel and it is AMAZING! it all feels so right.im happy that hes happy. im a bit nervous about meeting him. i want approval from all the important people in his life. so far everyone in mine likes him just fine. i see so many good things w/ him. i really see myself growing as a person w/ him..."

Nothing pisses off a Bolshevik more than this kind of banter. Pointless discussion of a woman's life. Read it through once again my comrades. Does this catch your attention and leave you begging fro more? Well a litte, the romance is a bit intreguing - Pons de Leon. STFU! Bastard Jeauque Louis, always the romantic. The worst part of it was the title: So Shiny and New :). A metaphor followed by a smiley face.

This poem of shit is Taken from the blog "Blood Stained, Horror Tainted, and Musicaly Drenched Me"

Deranged

I Lovethe pills the doctors give me don't talk shut up just refill me cuz I'm feelin kind of low 2day the pills'll make it go away.
Life sux liberty is restricted and who knows wut love is
I wonder why each little bird has a someone
I wonder why each little bird has a someone
What about the pills
Tweet, Tweet.
Tweet, Tweet.

Great Holly blasphemy! The suicidal Goth may be less talented than those derelicts who call themselves Cray-Z Ass Niggaz! Hey, those Cray-Z Niggaz are pretty cool! - Pons de Leon. You French socialist pussy, STFU during my posts. Someone put the readers out of their misery and give the Goth her pills..., tweet, tweet. Tweet, tweet.

Leon, Leon! Tell Me a Story From Your Youth!

1272 Johnson Drive,
Blackfoot IN, USA
92955

It looks good don't it? On the face of it, yes. But in reality, it's like a Mexican sausage; firm, yet dry. And thus the Leon seeks the ocean. Every July, the Pons travels west to California for a week of ocean-filled festivities. So off to Half Moon Bay we go. It’s the Pons, Gringols, Camby, and Leenoser, all enjoying a festive journey.

The beach was filled with water and sand. There were birds on the land and surfers on the water. As we prance toward the blue moisture, Gringols yells "look at that shit!" And indeed there it was, a dead seal. Camby picked up a rock and threw it at the corpse. The throw didn’t penetrate the skin, but made an interesting sound. Leenoser then picked up a broken bottle and threw it at the seal. The bottle did pierce the skin, but no blood came out.

And so it was; Jeauque Louis, Gringols, Camby, and Leenoser all having a great festive time in Half Moon Bay, throwing anything and everything at the large seal. After we were done, we covered him with seaweed and started drinking the beers we had just purchased.

This is a Great Post.

Man that top 25 movie list was effing sweet. The quality of the movies is so high. That poker video also shows some tips on how to play well. Anyway, when I dont have anything to talk about, I usually post 3 google videos. However this time, Im not gunna do it. Instead of saying "here watch a set of some sweet-ass videos," im gunna say "here watch 4 videos instead of 3".

Just trying to give back to the community.

You ever watch Mexican television? The programs suck ass. Why? Because they dont mix suspence with comedy as well as the Japanese.
Terrify the little women!

This is is also related to television. However this shows why the Italian News, is considered one of the worst in the world. (French and Colombian being the worst)
Get the News!

A blooper from the show Barny. Kind of funny. I'd recommend the season 3 DVD.
I wanna Rap!

I save the best for last. This is a homemade "Jackass" video. If you dont laugh at this, then you truley are an ideot.
Pour the mans drink on me!

Edit: Upon remembering that I posted the Japanese TV show, I must note that I didn't save the best for last. The best was first, the last one actually kind of sucks after I rewatched it. Sorry for that last shitty video.

6 max. SNG video #1

As you all know, the Pons is a masterful poker player. The two videos are un-edited and show him playing a 6max SNG. Eventually I would like to have audio commentary so that people can understand why I check-raise with 53s, but fold a KQo etc.

Here we pick up the action when im short stacked. I have a low M and my table image is total rock. The table is fairly passive, yet also tight.
Win the Pot!

We resume a few hands later in the tourny. I have built my stack up, and will now start playing fairly agressive. My theory behind the agression is: Focus on big pots regardless of my hand. (Vary dangerous and results in many busts). My agression is at its peak as I play HU.
Win the Pot!

Top 25 Movies: #1-5

The list is complete. And it will stand here like a statue for several days. Months even. You will slowly learn what the 10 greatest movies are, and you will learn why. A great journy it was, but alas the ocean was only so deep, and the bow's of the ship only so stern.


1. 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)139 min. "My God, it's full of stars..." Simply masterful. Nothing comes close to this. Movies 2 through 25 are all located in our solar system while 2001: A Space Odyssey is in the Andromeda galaxy. Star Wars was made 9 years after 2001, yet the special effects of 2001 are much higher in quality. The journey begins with the great eclipse. We travel in time through glorious ages, monkeys and what-not, until we reach the outskirts of life. Amidst the journey Man encounters Machine. The greatest machine of all. The human-like HAL9000. The two powers fight, and the Man prevails. Oh glory! Sweet joyous glory. Greatness of gay glory. And the man resumes his quest. Traveling into and beyond the elements of comprehension. Alas the epic journey ends, only to reveal a new creation: a Star Child.

The future is hear my friends. Watch this great tale... now. It leaves you speechless and passionate for love every time.

2. The Godfather (1972)175 min. Al Pacino got an Oscar for Scent of a Woman but not for The Godfather. A travesty is what it is. You see him blast a hole in the police Captain's head? Exactly. Packed with so much action, yet it doesn’t seem like an "action" movie at all. A passionate love story, littered with great moments such as Michael living in Italy, and the Hospital scene. I may have seen this movie more than Apocalypse Now. That’s how good it is. The final 10 seconds of the movie just make you think: "Holy Moses. Now that was something special". And the Consiglieri shuts the door.

3. A Clockwork Orange (1971)136 min. Lead it off with the Red background, soaked of blood probably from the old britva. Vintage Kubrick, pulling the camra back, back, back. There they are: Georgie, Pete, Dim, and Alex. Sitting in the Korova Milk Bar, getting ready for some ultra-violence. Getting ready for some of the old in-out-in-out. Baffling. A sick journy into the future through the life of a friendly young brother. The sheer madness will cause your gulliver to spin. And in the end, after all the rape, killing and comedy, you realize; they fixed him alright!

4. Chinatown (1974)131 min. "Hey man.. uh.. you ever see L.A. Confidential?" Oh, my young apprentice, I have seen the father and mother of L.A. Confidential. You generally dislike child molesters, but then once in a while a child-rapist makes a great movie and all is forgiven. And so it is. A subtle ode to the great Noirs (like Double Indemnity) of the 40's-50's. A suspense mystery set in So. Cal. Jack Nicholson and his injured nose seek justice in the corrupt land, and in the process he reveales some vary dark secrets.

5. It's a Wonderful Life (1946)130 min. It is my duty to watch this annually. In December, as a human being, it is your duty to watch this movie. You will learn great things. You will learn why James Stewart is cool. You will learn how angels get their wings. And most importantly you will say: "Shit man, this IS a wonderful life". And indeed it is my friends. Sit back, drink some spiced wine, and cry like a babe for 130 minutes. "Oh... wa, wa, it is so beautiful..." You may think I’m joking, but I’m not.

Top 25 Movies #6-10

6. Schindler's List (1993) 195 min. Watch Jews, I mean Jaws, Indiana Jones, and E.T. Exactley. Its like comparing weak-ass movies to a classic. One thing is for sure: The great Spielberg has the WWII films down to perfect. Seems even more realistic than Saving Private Ryan.



7. Apocalypse Now (1979) (Redux Version) 202 min. I take this over the original simply because it adds an extra 50 minutes. You look at Harrison Ford and your like "Shit, this is sweet". Its all fun and games, but the journy darkens. Deeper and deeper we travel into the jungles of Cambodia until we reach a psychotic zoo. What a finish.

I have seen this movie about 10-12 times. And am watching it right now.



8. Dolce Vita, La (1960)180 min. Sit down one day and teach yourself about Italian movies. I dont think it get's better than this. Paparazzo! Paparazzo! Frantic motorcycles rides, creepy parties, and a depressed jornalist. The dancing in the streets at night is a scene you will never forget. Sexually masterful.

9. Double Indemnity (1944)107 min. Billy Wilder. You digg? Orson Wells? Ha ha, thats funny. No but seriously. A Film Noir like no other. A dangerous woman with a sinister plan stumbles across an ordinary Joe. The suspense is sickening. Orson is funny though, ain't he?



10. Ben-Hur (1959) 212 min. Up to this point in my life I only thaught Charlton Heston was famous for Planet of the Apes. One of the greates Epic films of all time. Some of the greatest moments like the ship-sailing scene, and the famous chariot race.

Just Google It

Man, its been effing months since I have watched a Classic. I dont mean re-watching a Classic, I mean sitting down and watching one for the first time. Let's see. Last time was probably three months ago when i watched the great noir: A Touche of Evil. Before that (about four months ago) it was proabably the great 8 1/2. And so i resume my journy, and complete a chapter. East of Eden it was, completing the great trilogy spanning only two years. Quite sad really.

Anyway here is something that is not sad. It is eather funny, sick, cool, or stupid.

LeBron James. The roof is on fire!
Shoot the Ball!

Vary cool snowboarding. Note the degree of difficulty.
Take me to the Mountain!

This could be the two dumbest fools I have encountered on google video. The only explenation I can come up with is lots of marijuana. I mean stoned out of your mind. The second "jackass thingy" is more jackassy. But the first one I tell you... priceless.
Water Rocket!

Trance!

This may be the greatest trance song you will ever hear!

Get the Trance!

Note: The song is not fully done. Hence it is edited so that it just fades out.

How Many People Did Clinton Really Kill?

I hear them making fun of Clinton about his ties with all these murders on shows like SNL or Jay Leno. I always figured that it was in the low range say 4-6 people. You know, a little cover-up here, a little one there, but not a big deal . Infact I figured because it was so low, that most politicians and political commentators didn't care. So today, I hear a Republican and a Democrat arguing over this issue at the poker table. So naturally when i get home from the casino I log onto the net and search.

Obviously liberal sites will deny every charge. So i search for bipartisan sites. However I come to realize that due to my lack of "reading the page", I have no way of telling if the site is bipartisan. Although wikipedia.com seems neutral. I assume my sources (excluding wikipedia) are of Republican orgin. So my conclusion is: The HBO series Sopranos may have been based on Clinton. The man wacks people for amusement. A typical day might consist of getting a blow job from a secratery and then ordering a hit on an Advisor or on an Attorny. Yes, they are streaching it on some of these cases, but you gatta figure that at least 30 of them are legit.

Site 1: Get the truth!

Site 2: Get the truth!
Note under the Dead Body Guard section, not all of them died in crashes. I think four were popped in the head.

Edit: Anonymous commentator suggested this: Get the truth!
Edit again: Alright. I swear, this is it. The Pons will criticise him no more. For the sake of my life I must drop the subject. Pordon me. Literally.

Life on the Streets by Cray-Z Ass Niggaz

Sound: door bell ringing… door busted open with foot and body force

Unknown Man: What the fu…
Sound: Gun shot followed by several gunshots.

Rap begins:
Young Playa: Yeah, yeah, yeah Nigga!!
Hot Muffin: What?
Nigga Ass Jew: What?
Hot Muffin: What?
Nigga Ass Jew: What?
Young Playa: I’ll tell you what!
White Cracker lay’n on the flow, four bullets and he ain’t breath’n no mow
Na don’t you ax me why I play. In this pussy-ass ‘hood I always get away.
1,2 pow! Nigga I think you dead, shot like deer now I seek some head.
To the bedroom I stroll and find yo bitch, so I take off my pants and show her my dick.

Hot Muffin (in girl voice): Oh, Young Playa you’s a pimp. Oh, Young Playa my man is dead!
Young Playa: That’s right Bitch I shot him! (echoes: shot him, shot him…)

Nigga Ass Jew: Now we don’t play no hide ’n seek.. You see Young Playa act a pimp.
No bitch ain’t got no big-ass grin.
Some big-ass hoes with big-ass tits.
Holla at Hot Muffin if yo bitch ain’t loose.
That Nigga dives down and cuts yo slack.
I aint no fool cuz I ain’t got school.
Teacha a hoe, so I pissed on the flow.
Teacha get mad cuz the kids started slipp’n.
So you know what I said?

Hot Muffin: What you say Nigga Ass Jew?
Nigga Ass Jew: “Watch yo mouth Bitch, watch yo mouth Bitch. I pissed on yo flow cuz I broke the school toilet. Shoved a Niggaz head in and made him cry. Then I went to lunch and ate a pie.”

Womans Voice in background: That’s it! Go to the office Nigga Ass Jew.

Hot Muffin: Ooh, Ah. Ooh, Ahh. Its too damn hot. Its to damn hot.
Young Playa: Why it so hot Nigga? Why it so hot?

Nigga Ass Jew: You tell us Hot Muffin, you niggady, naggady, hot-ass muthfuck'n muffin.

Hot Muffin: Fi, Fy, Fo, Fum, I smell dough of pimp-ass muffin.
Yeah that’s right, Hot Muffin the name. Selling drugs to kids and bang’n you mom ‘s the game.
Now my balls are real saggy and my chest is real greasy,
But I tell you one thing: It makes the bang’n real easy.
Born in the ghetto where the whores were a plenty. Had a big feast on the pussy, so they called me Hot Muffin.
Yeah, yeah Nigga, that’s Life On the Streets.

Chorus Fade out (All three rappers): Life on the streets, life on the streets….

Top 25 Movies 11-15

11.Duck Soup (1933)
12.Treasure Of The Sierra Madre (1948)
13.On the Waterfront (1954)
14.Bridge On the River Kwai (1957)
15.Pulp Fiction (1994)

Yet Another Set of Google Videos

As long as I'm not loseing viewers, I will continue to post things like this. Takes minimum effort and still gets the job done. A half-ass fation, but the result is still potent. On an optamistic note J.L.D.T.P.D.L. (Jeauque Louis D'Inse Toulouse Pons de Leon), is thinking of putting up an mp3. Not sure of what, maybe Leon's Radio Jamboree, or something of that nature.

Some Russian kid jumping through buildings and roofs like a cat. Really gets good around the 2:10 minute mark. I can tell some scenes are cut together, but the task requires skill none the less.
Watch!

Some dude on beach gets hit with shovel. Non-violent and funny.
Watch!

Asian man scaring people.
Watch!

Top 25 Movies 16-20

16. The Godfather Part II (1974)
17. Doctor Zhivago (1965)
18. Flying Deuces (1939)
19. Its' a Mad Mad Mad Mad World (1962)
20. Z (1969)

Note, this esction was edited due to an error in the protocol. The malfunction cause the movie Deliverance, to listed twice in the list.

Sorry for the Delay

Seems, the servers are backed up. Protocal and shit. Different versions of Linux and such. Im useing HTML and they only understand SBC Yahoo! Anyway, i went to the great state of Arkansas this weekend. A satisfying trip i must admit. My applecation for an adoption is currently under review, and i just went down there to see what fine specimens i will be adding to the collection. Although the "kids" are a bit old, the fact that they need a father is not negated. Furthermore, they look old for their age. Both are 16. The names are Luew -Si, and Vonzell. None the less, if im lucky, the fine state of Arkansas will grant me both.

Google Video

The google empire is expanding! Naturally i browse for interesting music videos, or funny Simpsons clips. And then once in a while I stumble across something. A nugget of gold or a vluable jem. I dug deep for these pieces. The first is an exercise video. I have trouble watching it however, its what i call.... not appealing to the eye. Second one is a man dancing on one of those arcade-dance things. Interesting to see he isnt Asian. The third is actually cool. Although the leg-spreading/swimming move at the 00:56 mark is a little gay.

Home exercise 101 Watch!
Dance-a-thon Watch!
Enter the Ping-Pong Watch!

Gambarimasho! (及びあった)

猿 の力の頭脳は剣より大きい。1 つは大きい稲を尊重し、健康のために食べなければならない。マスターの父は武士に秘密すべてを見る。武士に鋭い刃より鋭い心がある。陰茎は弱いが、中心は 強い。信頼はあるけれども愛は不在である。通りの頼むことで見つけられた遺棄物は気高い人に近づき、言う: Any money for you please? Any money please? そして私をのこれ撃った映像でである大国信頼しなさい。そして犬もまた大国である。健康な犬。厚い皮および強い陰茎を持っている。"Rooof, Roooof, Roooof, Grrrr...". どんなにほとんどのテレビは愚かな性質である。、跳んでいる女性は踊っている人叫をからかう。教育かなわれない、けれども日本のすばらしい人はナンセンスを見た。不 法にメキシコ及びテキサスのボーダーを交差させている多くの人々は米国の国境巡視隊によってつかまえられるが、つかまえられる多数はつかまえられるため に見ている。意図されている35 人の中央アメリカ人のグループ- 及びあった- つかまえられ る。それはつかまえられる、"4-4-7" 得ることの後でファイルされ、殆んど指紋をとられる"地下の経済" に歩かせなさいのである。これのように離れた歩くそれらは- メキシコ人以外…OTMs と呼ばれる。メキシコ人とは違って、それらは国に単にバスで運ばれることができない。

Top 25 Movies 21-25

21. The Postman Always Rings Twice (1946)
22. Lawrance of Arabia (1962)
23. Deliverance (1972)
24. The Maltese Falcon (1941)
25. Arsenic and Old Lace (1944)