The Four Ss

“Quite simple really”. The pressure mounted, the captain, began perspiring. And so I gave him the list. He was pleased, and so was I. Alas, behold the great power of the 4 Ss;

1. Sopranos

Take any show. I mean ANY. Do you ever feel any emotion as a result of it? Not laughter, interest, or suspense. I mean the kind of emotion that makes you think about life. I’m talking about the power of guilt, tragedy, hatred and love, (all of which is captured by the Sopranos). Until you have watched the Sopranos do not come to me discussing good “action” shows. “Dude, you see Lost? There was an animal on the island that killed someone!” Or, “Jack Bauer just shot four guys with machineguns using only his handgun!” That is all shit. Watch the Sopranos seasons 1-5, and then we can talk.

2. The Simpsons

I have watched about 90% of the episodes. The great show spans many years. Just take a moment and think of a Simpsons moment….. Plenty of them yes? So many characters. So many stories. But, one stands out the most. It is a legend among legends. The animation is awful, and the voiceovers are crappy. But when it comes to the heart and soul of the Simpsons, nothing beats “Hommer’s Odyssey”. Another one that warms your soul up is the newish “HOMR” (with backwards R). Too many good moments.

3. Seinfeld

I grew up on this, watching it in my youthful days. A bunch of Jews sitting around in either a café or an apartment, making fuss about nothing. The greatest character is Jerry; a clever bastard, who is irresistible.

4. Saturday Night Live

Isn’t it like 30 years old or something like that? Forget about the last 5 years. Forget about 1980-1989, that’s still like 16 years! I will never forget a great episode where Belushi is trying to sneak in about 100lbs of heroin through an airport. His face dripping with sweat as white powder seeps out of his cloths and bags makes this the funniest skit I have ever witnessed. Will Ferrell era is highly entertaining as well. Finally, high profile movie stars hosting, and many great bands performing, make it a great jamboree.

The four Ss.

We’ve done it all; music, movies, etc… Now its time for shows. TV shows. What would Leon, the Pons of all Jeaques watch if he could only have 4 shows? Here’s the situation;

We just got off the PDL jamboree cruise ship, groping, and spanking all the waitresses, and have arrived on a great island, full of nude women and cocktails. Wi-fi, plasmas, air conditioning, you name it. Alas, we stumble across one slight issue. The captain says, “You can only get off the ships if you tell me the 4 greatest TV shows that you have ever seen and why”.

I say “Do news and/or sports shows count?”

“No, only the ones that are like shows with episodes. Once you tell me why you like them, ill give you the DVDs for them and you can watch them on them on the island”

So I tell him. “S…” And I shall tell you too. Just not today.

CAN: Chiken Soup fo Da Niggaz Soul

Young Playa: Three young niggaz wiff nuth’n to do
I gott a idea, says the nigga who’s a jew

Hot Muffin: What is dat, my brutha? Plees explain.

Jew Ass Nigga: We smoke dis crack, take this coke, and then smoke that weed,
drink some party juice, den smoke the pcp

Hot Muffin: And then go shoot ouw guns.

Sound: inhaling, coughing, more inhaling, and more coughing.

Young Playa: Oooh, nigga dis is great,
dis nigga he got roots like no otha.
Jew Ass Nigga: Ya, nigga, I strait up Israeli.
Da niggaz crossed over from Zimbabwe and
Young Playa: pow: Nigga Ass Jew was bown.
Jew Ass Nigga: Yeah, foo.

Young Playa: I go to tha stow, and I steal my food.
Go to the doctow and I bang the nurse.
Go to the secretary and steal the bitchez purse.

Jew Ass Nigga: Hoes, pimps, niggaz, and gangstas.
Hot Muffin: I can’t feel my hands foo, it like you cut they off

Jew Ass Nigga: Bitches, niggaz, and Gs.
Young Playa: Yeah, yeah, I think I color blind now

Jew Ass Nigga: Homies, jews, and gangstas.
Young Playa: Yeah yeah nigga,
this is chicken soup fo da fool who ain’t got no bowl.
Aint no nigga smoke crack, outa no crack nigga
Jew Ass Nigga: Yea foo, you is make sense.

Sound: Serious coughing

Jew Ass Nigga: Im about to have a seizure nigga,
the crack too dirty

Sound: something falling to the ground

Young Playa: Dam nigga dropp to da ground,
wif foam in his mouf
Hot Muffin: now my head feel dizzy and my eyes real blurry,
He sweat’n like a nigga from da Sahara,

Hot Muffin: Nah nigga, Gobi dessert.
Young Playa: Dam foo, young plya feel no good either.

Sound: something falls to ground

Hot Muffin: This crack is chiken soul for da soup,
I smoke it and now I can’t poop,
Constipation for three day but it good
cuz like da shit… from da… hoo..

Sound: something falls to ground

Polatics with Donald K. Spectator

And just like that, the CAN trio switched from Bush and Cheney haters to Bush haters / Cheney Lovers.

Hot Muffin: "That nigga blast a hole in tha foo’s face. Like my hommies from ‘hood. He aright."

Indeed, Cheney is all right. But the 79 year old Harry Whittington is not. In fact the old man is laying in a hospital with several pellets in his abdomen and head. Now this to some may seem as an opportunity to launch an anti gun, or anti hunting campaign. In fact some feel the VP should be impeached. I however, offer an alternate solution to the issue. I propose to my fellow men and women, a new outlook on the wildlife, specifically the wildlife inhabited by our fellow Native Americans. It is time for the Reds to start paying taxes like the rest of the Americans. As a professor of economics, the Sioux and Cheyenne, residing in Montana and Canada could provide a fiscal stimulation that would boost the US economy.

For this to happen, people must speak. We must press hard, so that the campaign could gain recognition. Be aware, for the sake of the motherland.

The Jamboree ons the chart.

unknown: dud, the green Day cover will blow the other songns away.
sleepy boy: when are you gunna put it up
unknown: in the eavenin
sleepy boy: looking forward to it. Anyway i gotta go, my cat pissed on the sofa, gotta clean it.

Even the Stanislav can't complain. The PDL Jamboree has swept the net (unlike this blog). Infact to compare the two, the Jamboree Band page got about as many hits yesterday as this blog did in the month of January.

D.K Spectator calls it "..a refreshing twist to an overrated song..". Even the critic himself calims "The song may have some of the greatest guitar work west of the Berlin Wall. Not a bolshevik amidst the tundra could make the instrument sing like that...".

Young Playa says "Aint no nigga gunna listen to that shit foo".

Ralphy McNeil: "I's suggest you upgrade to Soundclick's Premium service for $9.99. It allows you to upload songs with bit rates exceding 128kb/s. "

The gardner is climbing aswell, up to # 14, in the tribal. Also all the traffic has rejuvinated Relax w/ PDL. went from like 380 to 131 in the trance.

Jamboree Songs

Smash hits. Blvd. is currently #24 on the alternative cover chart. Jim's Gardner is #40 on the Tribal chart. Both are smashing my career high of #69 that was reached by The Great Trance.

Blvd. Broken Dreams is a cover. Medly if you will. I used analog equipmant such as a guitar, mic, and amp!

Gardner. I use about 70 different devices on this song, and due to the amount of PC resources it took up, I couln't complete it as efficinatly.
Hear the Jamboree!

Your prolly thinking, no google videos in a while. Indeed you are. And so i shall treat you:

Start the olympics!

I forgot what this video is!

Take me to the Ghetto!

Staff Forum # 1

Jam’nPDL: thanks for joining the forum guys.
Y2kRalph: always a pleasure boss.
JewAzzNIgg: jus make this shit quick, I got hoes to pimp.
Y2kRalph: Don’t like the interface on the applet though. Java based is not strong when it comes to online chat room security. I suggest we change that.
Stanislav: shut the fuck up.
JewAzzNIgg: niggaz jus tryn to do what he good at.
Y2kRalph: it’s fine. I got carried away. Java is not that bad.
Jam’nPDL: Aright guys, Im guessing the rest of the staff isn’t coming. Let’s kick the forum off with a debate. Anyone have an idea?
JewAzzNIgg: why the white foo tries to strip the nigga of his land.
Jam’nPDL: you mean the Indians?
Stanislav: how about why the typical Negro is so damn lazy?
Y2kRalph: yeah a debate about the Spanish stripping the Natives of their land would be nice.
JewAzzNIgg: aint no niggaz lazy you bitch ass communist. They just put that on the news so you think it.
Dr. Spectator entered the room.
Jam’nPDL: rebuttal Stan?
Y2kRalph: welcome to the forum Donald.
Stanislav: how would I understand words that come out of a negro’s mouth?
Dr. Spectator left the room.
Jam’nPDL: aright it seems the arguing is pointless. Did he just leave?
Y2kRalph: the professor has left the building.
Y2kRalph: rotfl lmao,
JewAzzNIgg: told you not to hire that nigga. He too high class for us blue coller niggaz.
Stanislav: screw this forum, I got a cold bottle of vodka waiting.
Stanislav left the room.
JewAzzNIgg: racist ass foo.
Y2kRalph: loool
Jam’nPDL: agreed. JAN you gotta bring the rest of the crew next time.
JewAzzNIgg: young playa knocked a bitch up by accident so they tryin to get that shit strait
Y2kRalph: wait. wha??
JewAzzNIgg: but they’ll bouf come next time
Jam’nPDL: aright, thanks for making the forum happen guys. Ill be lookin forward to it next time.
JewAzzNIgg: piece
Jam’nPDL left the room.
Y2kRalph: id says it went well. On the storcase site, I actually once set up an online chat, but we never used it for forums.
JewAzzNIgg left the room.
Y2kRalph: it was java though… so felt like a n00b chatting in it

A Super Bowl Deal

Super bowl Sunday, a day when sports fans of all races and religions come together. My close friends Gringols, and Leenoser are middle class blue collar workers, men who keep Blackfoot’s plumbing system among the best in the country. So as a gesture, I decide to buy them tickets to the big game being held in Detroit. As an entrepreneur, a man of my stature has no problems obtaining high-demand items such as the Lower Lounge Box Seats overshadowing the 50 yard line. 3 tickets it was to be. Gringols, Leenoser and I would be enjoying an afternoon of festivities for a mere $785 a piece. To further reward them, I rented a chartered “super bowl party jet” which would fly us over to Detroit from Blackfoot. The whole 9 yards; leather seats, cocktails, appetizers, and escorts.

And this was all scheduled for this weekend, until my friend Ralphy offered me a proposition. Turns out, last week, while Ralphy was being treated at the hospital for a rash, he found a mentally ill patient who was willing to buy two tickets for $3,000 a piece.

As a scalping business man, I could not pass this venture up. In fact I would profit from my planned trip to the Super Bowl. The total expenses for three people were $5,300, so I would actually end up:
My personal expense: $5,300 – $2,700 = $2,500
Income from the sale: $3,000 + $3,000 + ($1,900 chartered flight included) = $7,900
Total Profit: $7,900 - $2,500 = $5,400

So I went through with it. Sold them. As I write this from my Luxury Seat, in anticipation for the game, I assure to you; Gringols and Leenoser, that I will make this up somehow. Maybe we’ll take some of the money that I made from this and spend some of it on a dinner or something.

Stanislav the Critic: Hippies on the Road

Every now and then I see one on the road; Dodge Neon, Ford Probe, Toyota Tercel, maybe even a generic car, with no name. They all have 4 things in common:
1. The neglected car is an ‘83-’94 model.
2. There is a white woman in her early 30’s driving it.
3. She is driving roughly 65 MPH in the middle lane of the freeway (usually pissing average commuters off)
4. The car has a shit-load of Environmental, and Anti-war stickers.
Now what is this you ask?
This is delusional liberal (or is it Green Party?) trying to seize your concentration related to the road, and focus it toward her car. She is saying “I am a lesbian. I am free, and I shall be heard!” I’m driving through Blackfoot, where the chances of me being shot on the freeway are 1 in 378, and the dyke is preaching about otters and seals. I’m trying to switch lanes, while Nader’s daughter is telling me I can’t eat cheese.
In the end who wins? Honestly… no one. Only losers come out of this. In fact every time a fellow man stops to think about the environment, he loses. He takes a step back, while the oil drillers in Kazakhstan are progressing in forward leaps.