Genitalia Challenge

You ever ask your self "how tough are my nuts?", "what can my colon take?". A simple challange of the mind and body can acurately assess these questions.

Ice Cube Test: Make sure the penis is regular temperature (96-100 degrees F) and is of regular condition. Place the ice cube on the tip of the penis. If done correctly, the cube will stick to the penis causeing loss of all errectile sensation. Can only be removed via warm water.

Ring Burn: Put a a cooking-pot eather on the stove or in oven. Let it heat for 20-30 minutes or until it reaches 280+ degrees F. Remove the pot and place on a stable chair. Remove cloths and sit on the pot for 10-20 seconds. If done coerrectly a ring of burnt skin will form on your ass preventing you from sitting normally for 5-7 days. As bonus let Terry Jenkins or Ronnie "The Rocket" Baxter throw darts at the bull's-eye on your ass.

Ball Roll: Pull penis back towrd stomache and tape it securely to lower abdomen. If done correctly testicles are fully exposed. On a slanted road (ideally a road of smooth surface) place 12 obsticles on road. The obstacles (or obtesticles if you will) should be roughly 4 feet in length so that the testicles will come in contact. As you roll down the hill with your skates (or skis if in a snowy region) spread your legs wide so that the testicles have a clear path and are able to hit the obsticles fully. By the 12th obsticle youw will be traveling fairly fast and the contact will be vary forceful.

Top 100 songs and Top 25 movies of Jeauque

Many readers of this great blog have been sending e-mail requests of a "top 100 song list" and a "top 25 movie list". So i have decided to fulfill their needs. The lists are in the making. The song list will be released in intervals of 25 songs and the movie list will be released at intervals of 5 at a time. So stay tuned the next few days for movies #21-25. Meenwhile feel free to type: "french military victories" into google's search. And remember, press: "I'm feeling lucky".

Younglings in the Theater

Now this is a great effing idea. Go see a three hour movies. But make sure to bring your two and a half year old child. The show starts at 9:30pm so surely the child will sit quietly and watch the R rated movie. Now most immigrants will think twice about this fallacy, but not these particular ones. Im trying to see Aniston's clevage during the sex scene and this bastard child is having conversations with its parents. Furthermore Sherlock and Watson are sitting in the vary front, while the infant prances around in front of the screen like a circus bear. This being a shitty neighborhood you would think someone would say "sit the eff down", or "control your child", but no. The sheep just sit there while the kid plays hide 'n go seek with the two dumbass parents.

Who the Hell is Jeauque Louis?

A man of great ambition and many stories. A joker who enjoys fine dining and unemployment. A lad who skis in the winter and sunbathes in the summer. A friend who enjoys German sausages but boycotts all things French. A scholar who drinks while he drives, but stays alert throughout the trip. An intellectual who who gambles periodically, but never cheks the spelling of his writings. A Republican who votes anually and often plays golf with fellow neighbors. A man of many romantic stories.

My Second Post

I want the public to know that you are free to give me feedback. Infact I want to hear your comments, criticisms and suggestions! Alas the man's great journy can only resume when the journy's path is clear. No path is unwalked, foot by foot, paw by paw, hence the man (Jeauque Louis D'Inse Toulouse Pons de Leon) and his offspring (readers of this) must calibrate amidst nature's chaos. Enjoy.

Finally Jeauque Louis D'Inse Toulouse Pons de Leon will be heard!

Jack Lewis Dinse Towlous Pounce of the Lion.>